Introduction:
When I hit bottom in my alcohol addiction, my mind stopped working; my thinking stopped because my mind ran out of reasonable answers or memories of successful experiences to stop using my drug of choice; there was nothing left in my memory bank of thoughts that could end my mental suffering. In that moment of addiction, the mind stops working when no objective qualities remain for attachment to prove its existence, and the mind dissolves. At that level of suffering the mental resistance of the imaginary ego, the mind’s illusion of attachment dissolves into self-awareness, revealing the truth: my Higher Power is eternal Awareness. The Awareness of knowing, not the known from the past, but the knowing that comes from loving understanding in the present moment, that my mind’s addiction to thinking—addiction to proving its existence—my objective mind, full of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and perceptions—was blocking the universal energy source of Love from flowing through my open heart into the world around me. The mental resistance of my mind to the flow of Love energy created so much suffering over time that my mind became exhausted, which caused the illusion of time to dissolve into the reality of conscious awareness in the eternal present moment.
I realized that learning how to transcend the mental resistance of the ego-mind from blocking my natural energy flow of Love was the only way to end my addiction to alcohol. That meant learning how to quiet my mind with the silent, loving understanding of awareness—and not by hitting bottom, suffering in addiction every day.
So, if you have previously hit bottom in your addiction or are hitting it now, here at CeDAR, what I have said may resonate with your level of suffering, and you may have experienced some quieting of the mind and opening of your heart since getting sober in this community of unconditional love. So, I invite you to exercise your mind in this short meditation to quiet your mind without having to hit bottom in addiction today.
Meditation:
I invite you to open your heart for an exercise to quiet your mind. I invite you to get comfortable…so you can observe what your mind is doing. First, I invite you to relax your body.., which means to slowly stop moving about and get comfortable by distracting the mind from thinking by shifting your attention to feeling what your body is doing… I invite you to observe what your body is feeling, sensing, and perceiving… So, if you’re comfortable, you can close your eyes to eliminate visual distractions… Please focus on the body to understand what it is sensing, such as sounds, smells, tastes, or touches, so it does not irritate your mind, which might help end fidgeting… Make any adjustments to scratch an itch or identify what about your senses is disturbing the mind so you can accept them or eliminate any annoyances…
Next, please focus on how your body is feeling… Am I feeling cold or hot..? Am I in a comfortable position..? Am I experiencing any aches or pains that I need to accept as they are—to minimize their distraction..? How is my breathing..? Is it slowing to a steady rhythm..? If I observe my breathing, can I relax my body even more..? I invite you to focus on your breathing for a bit… How does your body move during each inhale..? How does your body move during each exhale..? Observe your Inhale… Observe your Exhale… Inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale…
Now, I invite you to focus your attention on the emotional state of your mind… I invite you to ask yourself the following questions: How am I feeling emotionally right now..? Am I emotionally relaxed without any worries..? Or am I carrying any mental burdens..? Am I mentally suffering in any of my relationships..? Am I stressed out over my job or obligations I need to address..? Am I mourning the loss of a family member, a friend, a pet, or anything I loved to do or things I possessed..? Am I just depressed over wanting to be better or more, or over my addiction to substances, people, or anything..? Am I feeling lonely and unloved..?
All these emotions are valid..; If these feelings exist, they are normal for you… Everyone experiences unique emotional feelings—which depend on how your mind has been conditioned..; unique emotions happen to everyone..: how we handle our mental worries, relationships, stress about work, mourning the loss of a loved one or something we care about, and deal with depression or loneliness is different for each of us, and each of us deals with our emotions in our own way… But right now, we are just observing and not judging these emotions… We recognize that they exist, but we can’t change them right now..; we can’t do anything—right now—to make them go away… Our mind remembers everything, especially problems, hardships, and trauma..; those memories never go away and mentally arise whenever a similar situation or experience triggers them… Right now, we can only observe, without judgment, whatever emotion is haunting us… Knowing, that we can only resolve our emotions when we confront the source of our feelings in the present moment, but that’s not right now..!
What we can do: we can make our emotions disappear—right now..: because if the source is not present, they don’t exist right now..; emotional thoughts exist in time, but not right now… The truth of learning to understand our emotions is realizing that memories of mental conditioning and past experiences are the sources we use to imagine the future because that is all we know.., but they aren’t real in the present moment… They exist in psychological time, the illusion the mind needs to create the ego, an imaginary self, to convince the mind that it exists as something real… The mind will identify with anything to believe it has control over what is happening in life around us… When the truth is the mind can control nothing real, it can only create illusions by thinking in time, repeating the past, which is the root cause of all addictions… So, take a deep breath, knowing that the source of your emotion is not here right now…
With awareness, can we observe our thoughts without judgment and watch each thought as it arises and floats by like clouds across a bright blue sky..? Picture each thought, feeling, sense, or perception arising as a cloud, each one a different shape or color floating across the sky… If we don’t judge, compare, or identify with the shapes and colors of the clouds, the mind does not become attached to those temporary thoughts… They slowly float across the sky, disappear over the horizon, or dissolve in the loving light of awareness… After a while, in this warm sunny illusion, the light of awareness melts away those clouds.., and thoughts disappear until nothing is visible, but an endless blue sky—and only awareness remains… When temporary thoughts no longer arise due to a lack of attachment.., the mind dissolves in the light of nonjudgmental, loving awareness, and the always-present state of meditation happens… I invite you to remain in this silent state—our natural state of being—and enjoy the timeless blissful freedom of no mind, the end of suffering from the illusion of addiction to thoughts…
Finally, I invite you to gaze at the empty, eternal blue sky of your thoughtless mind… When looking at that eternal blue sky of pure awareness, what do you feel in your heart..? Do you feel peaceful..? Do you feel joyful..? Do you feel whole, no longer separated, as body and mind, but united as one being..? Do you feel connected, as if you are a drop in this infinite blue ocean..? Do you feel how we are all connected and come from the same blue ocean of conscious awareness..; Do you feel your heart opening as Love flows through you, no longer blocked by the mind that is quiet in this silent, peaceful, joyful eternal present moment..! How do you know we are all connected by the same Higher Power of Loving Awareness..? We all share the same name..; we call ourselves “I Am”…
I invite you to take the longest deep breath you have taken during this exercise… I invite you to open your eyes, be where your feet are.., and be aware of the Love flowing through your heart into this room—right now.., and be aware that it is always now..! I Love you guys!
VAB 11-08-24
©2024 stillawakening.com All Rights Reserved
