Why is admitting my addiction the first step in Recovery? Acknowledging that my name is Vic and I am an alcoholic opened the door from being imprisoned by my self-ego identity as an alcoholic to being freed by true Self-understanding. So, admitting my self-ego identifies with being an addict allowed me to get sober and my true Self to awaken and become aware of my self-ego. True Self-awareness changed my perspective from being “I Am” the problem to being aware that my self-ego thinking—“I Am an addict”—was my problem. That change of perspective from an imaginary self-ego existence to my true Self-awareness brought the silent—thoughtless—understanding of the truth: that there is my “addiction,” and there is “I am,” and “I am” is not my “addiction!”
Admitting that my imaginary self-ego identifies as being an addict begged the question: who is it that is staying sober? That change in perspective proved there is no connection between my true Self and my self-ego’s drug of choice. I, as my true Self, was now “aware” of my ego’s addiction to an objective drug that it could take or leave, but it had no power to define my true Self-being: the stand-alone subjective “I Am” that I am. The truth is the subjective “I Am” can never be any imaginary objective entity—an alcoholic. “I Am” is complete, subjective, ever-present awareness: the sober activity of always being aware of my self-ego that thinks its imaginary self is a real alcoholic, constantly craving to repeat the past—to be “real” in time—all of which (the self-ego, addiction, time) is an illusion.
So, now, my true Self no longer introduces my self-ego as a “wanna-be” real alcoholic; it presents itself as “I Am” aware! The subjective, complete, ever-present, sober activity of true Self-awareness that changed my life.
VAB 01-24-25
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