This image symbolizes, literally for me, hitting my bottom in addiction. I have often shared my metaphysical understanding of the term “hitting bottom” as the point of awakening when I started my Recovery journey to overcome addiction. When my past—my self-ego mind functioning from what I already know, believe, and have experienced—was utterly exhausted, my self-ego could no longer think of any way to alleviate the physical pain and mental suffering I was experiencing, living in addiction. That was when my self-ego-thinking fell silently into the meditative state of true Self-awakening. My imaginary self-ego—my addiction to thinking: time (living in the past)—had to let go, and my true Self became aware of my addictions, which allowed me the opportunity to begin non-judgmentally observing my addictions to alcohol and time in the present moment. Staying aware—in the Now—is the death of the self-ego because thinking—addiction to time—cannot exist in the ever-present moment. Staying aware allows me to dissolve cravings for my drugs of choice—which create an illusion for the imaginary self-ego to be something, anything real, to escape from non-existence in the present moment—where only my subjective true Self-awareness can exist.
So, this image I copied and titled “Self-Awareness of the Thinker” represents hitting bottom when my ever-present true Self of natural intelligence arises from the life energy source within. The constantly flowing activity of endless creativity: Love takes control, and the ignorance of my self-ego’s energy source—addictions to outside objects in time and space based on what it already knows and chooses for its identity to appear as being real—disappears in the light of Self-awareness. I no longer have to live in ignorance by repeating the past, feeling divided by time and space, and being separated from the natural world. Now, I can live with the intelligence of knowing the truth about my Life, that I am enough—without any additions—to be only “I Am,” and that “I Am” is aware of being whole, complete, and naturally connected by the endless activity of Love that creates everything arising in the ever-present moment!
VAB 02-06-25
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